Releasing Into The New

When I was 23, I was stationed at Ft. Gordon in Augusta, Georgia where I was training in Air Force Satellite Communications. While there, my life was in upheaval and I decided late one night to drive out to the coast. I spent the night-drive crying in despair over my dramas-of-the-time – surely a brew of romantic loss and confusion, cross-country moves, family issues, and the overall uncertainty of that time in my life. By dawn I was writing inspired poetry to my God at the end of a long dock at Tybee Island as the sunrise appeared in water colors. My tears had carried away my fears and the day filled me with courage and excitement for the new times ahead.

At 37, I landed back in the Southeast after nearly fifteen years of exploration. Driving up the East Coast from Florida, I wandered back to Tybee Island – alone once again. I remembered my first time there and was struck by how not much had changed. I was dealing with new incarnations of the same dramas – romantic loss and confusion, international-moves, family issues, and the overall uncertainty of that time in my life. On this visit however, I was hit with a new awareness: Despite the last fifteen years of unnecessary stress, worry, and fear – I was in pretty much the same place! I was more or less the same gal – just a bit wiser with a better self-care routine. So much energy had been needlessly burnt away…

I write this in an attempt to release the worry, fears, and stress that I find myself mired in lately. I am sometimes consumed by doubts around my abilities or worthiness as a mother along with fear of and resistance to all the changes my body is going through. I hear that’s normal in the third-trimester but I could do without it. I’ve got enough weight in my belly – I don’t need more on my back. So this morning, I’m returning to Tybee in my mind and greeting a whole new day, full of beautiful possibilities. I release these concerns as I honor the lessons I’ve learned. I choose to step gracefully into these new chapters of motherhood and commitment to family that are now unfolding in my life.

2 thoughts on “Releasing Into The New”

  1. Your little one is a lucky girl!
    She has a loving mother who will be a constant support, role model and teacher! Motherhood is an awesome adventure! Enjoy!! Sara

    1. You are such a sweetie, Sara. Thanks for the kind words! Maybe you’ll get to meet her some day. 🙂 Sorry for the delay – just seeing this today. Sending love!

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