My mother sadly passed away at just 57 (only 17 years older than me now!) from a 100% preventable condition. It lit a fire under my ass as I realized that most of what I learned about how to care for my human body came from her. I refuse to let her have passed in vain and it has been a huge lesson to me in becoming whole ~ learning to care for myself physically, mentally, and spiritually.
I’ve been in a long process of getting back in touch with my body that began with yoga approximately 20 years ago. I began yoga out of desire to look better, but my practice revealed layers of trauma and neglect that had to be worked through and I’ve made huge progress with a much more capable, flexible, and relaxed body. Yoga along with plant medicines helped me to feel spiritually re-connected to my Source.
After having some health trouble in 2018, I began exploring how food affects my body. About 2.5 years ago, I did a food sensitivity test and found that I was *highly reactive* to wheat, dairy, and eggs along with some milder reactions from other foods. I was surprised to hear all this since I ate wheat, dairy, and eggs literally every day. I decided to go hard-core and cut them out completely which wasn’t that hard with all the gluten and dairy free substitutes available, though I did try to limit these and focused more on whole-foods. My cooking skills came in quite handy as I drastically reduced restaurant meals with mystery ingredients.
Damn, did I feel and look better! And I lost 15 pounds ~ quickly!
Last night I got my results from a second food sensitivity test. I was curious… Had my sensitivities improved? Are there new sensitivities? I see these as indicators of my gut health and a mirror to show me my blind spots.
What exciting results! My dairy and egg sensitivity has dropped into the low-moderate category! My wheat sensitivity is in the low category. And I do have a few new foods reacting (like potatoes, sadly) but guess what… I had already intuitively backed off of them because I knew something wasn’t right even though reactions can be mild and take up to 48 hours.
What progress! Not just for the state of my health but for my relationship to self. Just 2.5 years ago, I had no idea how foods were affecting me and my health was showing it but today the tests only validated what *I knew already*. YES!
Today I feel so much more in touch with the health of my internal organs, specifically my digestive and urinary tracts. My mother had issues in both of these systems and my my physical constitution is a lot like hers. My health is a tribute to her life.
Thanks, Mama. I love you. I miss you.
P.S. The test I just used came from Everylwell. I preferred this method & results format way better than the first test I did with my doctor’s office. Everylwell has sent me a link that gets you 15% off your test, if interested.
Get 15% off Everlywell Home Food Sensitivity Test
I’ll take you with me
Into the flow,
I need to move!
I need to stretch!
The music grooves.
But then a small cry
So I don’t even try.
We both know
This is really your flow.
You don’t want stillness.
And so yoga becomes
I can dance all night.
And we do for a while,
But when you say “nay”
You want to lay down
And suckle the hour away.
Both of us lulled into
This milky flow.
I bring you to my chest,
Latched to my breast
Where we slip into
A most DIVINE rest.
And I don’t mind
Giving you my time.
Just grateful to know
That together we flow.
I’m not exactly sure why I feel compelled to share this today but after a very clear-thinking shower this morning, it seems necessary somehow. When I was younger, I was constantly hit on by creeps. Close friends would joke about my strange magnetism and all the “alphas” I’d pull in. That doesn’t happen anymore and I don’t think it’s because I’m older or less attractive. I believe it’s because my vibration is entirely different. When I was younger, I walked around with a strong, but false confidence. It was my crab shell – my defense. But, underneath it was a lack of self worth and a deep need for male validation along with deeply programmed beliefs about men. You see, as a child I felt abandoned and disappointed by the masculine. Several of the adult women in my life told me that “men only want one thing”. More specifically, my mother would tell me that the (good) men in my life were around only because of my sexual offerings. These were the energies that surrounded me as I moved through the world and so I pulled in my vibrational matches. Prey needs predators. Through the practice of self-study/svadhyaya, I have grown leaps and bounds over the last twenty years. I have come to see this deep conditioning. And through my work with plant medicine, I have come to know my inherent value as a child of God. Thank you Mother Ayahuasca for embedding a deep sense of self-worth at a cellular level that has remained over the last three years. Through my real-world experiences and clear-eyed evaluation of past relationships, I have come to know and respect many men who are modeling the divine masculine. These men do not move through life as predators, but as lovers and protectors of all that is sacred within me. My vibration has changed. Now I attract lovely “hellos”, genuine interest, and true friendship from men. I have grown and so have the people I’m surrounded by. Again, I’m not sure why I needed to share this today, but hopefully this reflection speaks to someone. With so much love for me, and for you… Blessings on your day and your life. XO
P.S. On February 20th, there is a call to share our stories with the hashtag #thankyouplantmedicine
I will be sharing some of my past blog posts on social media and I look forward to hearing some of your stories too.