The Mystery Of Myself

The mystery of myself
The mystery of this life dragging me down
Dragging me out from the Heavens
From my Home

Such a terribly rough landing

If I must stay here
Then how, oh how,
Can I reclaim my bliss?
All that I’ve ever known

Oh how I long to glimpse Heaven again

I feel a tug on my heart
And I realize
I am still connected by
The thinnest, hair-like thread

Gently tugging at my heart

My mind alive with remembrance
Searching, searching
How can I get back?
If I pull too hard, this thread will break

What on Earth am I?

Am I a fallen angel?
A being of light?
Made of matter?
Made of grace?

What is this mystery unfolding?

My soul is made of stars and
My heart is made of love and
The rest of me?
I don’t know…

I don’t know what I am doing here

How can I wake this
Soft animal flesh?
Embody my former magic?
The magic of the cosmos

To truly know who I am ~ that I am all of it.

I am everything that I’ve ever
Seen, touched, smelled, heard, tasted
I am all of creation, as well as
Every last destructive explosion

I feel it from the depth of my being

I am here to be witnessed
I am here to be heard
To be held
To make magic from dust

I look within and realize I must

Let it be wild and messy
This dream
No need to fix a thing
Radiant being

All that I am

Wildflowers growing from my hair
Sweet nectar surrounds me
Let it be beautiful
In its imperfection

I am hope, matter, and divine grace

Shining my light
Dream weaver
Light worker
Holding Heaven in my heart

I will be home again soon

………
*This was written last night during a Soul Writing Class with Jessica Lee Alton in response to the prompt, “How do you see yourself?”

A New Rising

I walk past the graves of all my past selves
And am gifted a treasure of spiritual wealth

I hear them cry out, reliving their wounds
Rolling around in their underground tombs

Lamenting the past and all their mistakes
Locked in a prison of hurt and of shame

I see them, I hear them, I love them still
But I can’t be undone by their painful shrills

I keep moving forward, whatever it takes
This is the choice I will *always* make

And so I keep walking; no need to hold on
I release these ghosts and choose to move on

As I continue to die, leaving new graves
Old versions of me are passing in waves

Like the sun rises after yesterday’s storm
And a new day arrives, taking on its new form

I rise above and let mySelf unveil
Allowing my heart and my soul to prevail

This genuine life, this actualized Self
This in Truth, is my greatest wealth

Beauty Way

I drink your subtle medicine
The kind that warms my bones
That nurtures my heart open
like a newly blossomed rose

Felt through Lucy’s laughter
Beaming like the sun
Restoring my connection
to Source, to the One

May I stay in wonder
May I stay in grace
Holding beauty’s essence
through every fading trace

Layers

It’s hard to believe that
At forty-two
I’m still healing
The same core wounds
My bright, shiny surface
So well-composed
No one can see
How deep this all goes
Childhood trauma
Unknown and suppressed
Making its way
To the light to express
Spiraling in and
Spiraling out
Ghosts from the past
Casting shadows and doubt
I’ve been paying attention
I’ve been doing all “the work”
For how much longer
Will these demons lurk?
Layers and layers
Peeled back through the years
Always revealing
This grief through my tears
They say that the secret
Is held by belief
And so I am begging
Please send some relief
I accept the past
I just want to feel safe
I’m looking within
And I’m praying for grace

Sacred And Loved

“Sacred and Loved”
Young and fresh
Waiting to show off that
Pretty flesh
Not realizing the
Deepest depth
Of what that skin
Was meant for
Caught in a
Compromise
Our culture seeks to
Emphasize
Shining that false light
On your worth like
Gold before swine
Yes, I know it’s
Exciting
And so very
Inviting
But this “freedom” is
Misguiding
Your truest Self
Sensuality
Sexuality
Sold to us
As “empowerment”
Is meant to circumvent
Your conscious
Consent
When will you
Realize that
This tangle of lies
Are distortions
Meant to tantalize,
And drain you of
Your power
Life force
Given for free
As you look for that
Missing piece
Of validation
But it won’t
Make you complete
Your body is Sacred
Not meant to be
Vagrant
You are a temple
Revered
On the most high
With Divinity
You are Sacred
My Love
Don’t mistake it
My Love
You are so very
Sacred and Loved
You are already complete.