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Beauty Way

I drink your subtle medicine
The kind that warms my bones
That nurtures my heart open
like a newly blossomed rose

Felt through Lucy’s laughter
Beaming like the sun
Restoring my connection
to Source, to the One

May I stay in wonder
May I stay in grace
Holding beauty’s essence
through every fading trace

Layers

It’s hard to believe that
At forty-two
I’m still healing
The same core wounds
My bright, shiny surface
So well-composed
No one can see
How deep this all goes
Childhood trauma
Unknown and suppressed
Making its way
To the light to express
Spiraling in and
Spiraling out
Ghosts from the past
Casting shadows and doubt
I’ve been paying attention
I’ve been doing all “the work”
For how much longer
Will these demons lurk?
Layers and layers
Peeled back through the years
Always revealing
This grief through my tears
They say that the secret
Is held by belief
And so I am begging
Please send some relief
I accept the past
I just want to feel safe
I’m looking within
And I’m praying for grace

Sacred And Loved

“Sacred and Loved”
Young and fresh
Waiting to show off that
Pretty flesh
Not realizing the
Deepest depth
Of what that skin
Was meant for
Caught in a
Compromise
Our culture seeks to
Emphasize
Shining that false light
On your worth like
Gold before swine
Yes, I know it’s
Exciting
And so very
Inviting
But this “freedom” is
Misguiding
Your truest Self
Sensuality
Sexuality
Sold to us
As “empowerment”
Is meant to circumvent
Your conscious
Consent
When will you
Realize that
This tangle of lies
Are distortions
Meant to tantalize,
And drain you of
Your power
Life force
Given for free
As you look for that
Missing piece
Of validation
But it won’t
Make you complete
Your body is Sacred
Not meant to be
Vagrant
You are a temple
Revered
On the most high
With Divinity
You are Sacred
My Love
Don’t mistake it
My Love
You are so very
Sacred and Loved
You are already complete.

Old Stories

Old stories swirling
through the air
I don’t mean to be rude but
I really don’t care

Even my own,
they bore me to tears
Or worse ~ they remember
my old programmed fears

The past has gone now;
let’s leave it alone
We can never go back;
we can only come home

If we really must speak,
let’s create something new
A world full of peace, love,
forgiveness, and truth

Messages From Beyond The Veil

My mother and I circa 1983.

Last Friday afternoon at 2pm I had an appointment for a cystoscopy, a procedure where they insert a thin camera through the urethra to view the urinary tract. The doctor found a good sized tumor growing from the side of my bladder wall, which he showed me on the video monitor. It looked like a sea anemone growing on a rock wall in the ocean. Of course the first word to flash through my mind was cancer but I was simply told to get dressed and the medical assistant would lead me back to the doctor’s office where we would talk.

I was nervously waiting so I picked up my phone to look at emails as a distraction. An email had just come in from “Francesca’s”, a boutique chain that carries clothing, jewelry, and gifts. The subject line read “Women’s Power Zodiac Puzzle”. This email was significant for a few reasons.

  1. My mother’s name was Francesca, not a very common name around here. She passed away in 2015.
  2. I never signed up for emails from Francesca’s. I also searched my past emails to see that I had never received an email from them before. Furthermore, it was in my “primary” folder where I would see it when Gmail would ordinarily put that into “promotions”.
  3. It was timestamped August 6th at 2:29pm, received in the very narrow window in which I was waiting to see the doctor for some very heavy news ~ bladder cancer.

It felt like my mother was letting me know that she was with me in the room. Even the title “Women’s Power Zodiac Puzzle” felt like an indication that it was coming from the ethers, a message just for me from beyond the veil. I purchased the puzzle and look forward to putting it together soon. 

Receiving this message inspires me to share a second story of a similar nature ~ messages from beyond the veil.

In the summer of 2015 my mother lay in a hospital bed, in a coma with multiple system failure. She had a DNR order (do not resuscitate) and so she was being released to the other side, as she had wanted. 

Though she had been unresponsive, I am grateful I had the opportunity to share what was on my heart. I did not know what it was at the time, but I essentially spent our time together praying the Ho‘oponopono, a prayer by the ancient indigenous people of Hawaii. It goes, “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.” I simply wanted her to know that I loved her, that I was sorry for our earthly dramas, that I forgave her and requested her forgiveness, and that I was grateful for the life that she has given me.

After five very long days at the hospital, her doctor requested I leave. He told me that she would not live, nothing could be done for her, and that she should have passed days ago. He believed she was holding on because I was there. I was exhausted, traumatized, lost, confused, and needed to take care of myself, and so I agreed to leave.

I caught the next flight out from Indianapolis, where she was, to my then-home city of Miami. I was home within a few hours. I had just walked into my apartment when I received a text from a friend I’d made in Colombia while studying Spanish just a few months earlier. Her name was Gloria, which in essence means the manifestation of God’s presence. While we were getting to know each other, I had confided in her that my mother and I had been through a lot of difficulty. 

Though she knew nothing of the present situation at the hospital, she was randomly checking on me and specifically asked about my mother so I told her what was going on. Her text reply said, “Light a candle and pray that the angels guide her to heaven.” It was a good idea, and so I went to my altar and did exactly that. 

Just a few minutes later I received a call from a nurse that my mother had *just* passed away. Yes, I realize she was on her way out already but she passed in the moments that I was praying and I can’t help but think this was orchestrated by God and the angels so that I may have some closure around my mother’s passing.