Layers

It’s hard to believe that
At forty-two
I’m still healing
The same core wounds
My bright, shiny surface
So well-composed
No one can see
How deep this all goes
Childhood trauma
Unknown and suppressed
Making its way
To the light to express
Spiraling in and
Spiraling out
Ghosts from the past
Casting shadows and doubt
I’ve been paying attention
I’ve been doing all “the work”
For how much longer
Will these demons lurk?
Layers and layers
Peeled back through the years
Always revealing
This grief through my tears
They say that the secret
Is held by belief
And so I am begging
Please send some relief
I accept the past
I just want to feel safe
I’m looking within
And I’m praying for grace