This post is a little late since I’ve been busy getting my life set up for a comfortable and productive 2018 (details coming soon!), but I have spent a lot of time thinking about 2017… all the lessons I’ve learned and how to integrate those into my life. And so I’d like to recap my 2017 – perhaps the most growth-oriented year of my life. Here is a little something I wrote in my personal diary on New Year’s Eve along with a little poem to commemorate the year.
Goodbye 2017. You were crazy.
You began on a sprawling beach covered in fire along the coast of Ecuador. There were effigies burning all around. It looked like the end of the world and it was, at least for me.
You were full of the highest highs and the lowest lows. You showed me what my body and mind could do, as well as what they can’t. You stretched me, then cracked me open. I didn’t even know there was such a hard encrusted shell laying atop my spirit. You stripped away so much of what I thought I was and then left me naked and homeless, discovering what I truly am. And for all of this, I am grateful.
2017 was so productive…
- I lived on three continents.
- I opened and closed a hotel.
- I gave away everything that I owned.
- I detoxed the past.
- I left an oppressive relationship.
- I fell in love then had my heart broken.
- I learned to believe someone when they tell you who they are.
- I befriended so many beautiful new souls.
- My best friends showed me how much they love and accept me. I cried.
- I hosted and co-hosted some powerful yoga retreats.
- I had a kundalini experience, which I’m still trying to understand nearly eight months later!
- I had out-of-body experiences, clairvoyance, visions, and received messages – while sober.
- I sat with a few different plant teachers and I learned there is way more to this “reality” than we can ever be aware of.
- I completed a Vipassana course where my sense of intuition was validated.
- I discovered the boundless joy at the core of my being.
- I reconnected with my dharma.
- I began writing again.
- I began sharing myself more openly.
- I got a new tattoo.
- So many friends came to visit me in Ecuador. <3
- I learned a LOT more about yoga.
- I leveled up to a 500 hr RYT.
- I learned that ^ that doesn’t even matter.
- I learned a LOT more about meditation and the inner-workings of the mind.
- I was the thinnest I’ve ever been and discovered that it didn’t matter at all. I was not any happier.
- I followed a voice to Asheville and started building a new life.
- I learned that disconnection is the source of our pain.
- I understood my own worth for the first time.
- I upped my Spanish game (un poco).
- I saw how dependent I’ve been on external validation.
- I learned that there’s no wrong way to be.
- I hit my lowest low. I was broken. I was rearranged. I was humbled. I grew.
“I” understood on a cellular level that there isn’t really an “I”.
My relationship to the world shifted and nothing is the same. 2017, Thank you for coming. Thank you for leaving. You were one hell of a ride.
And a little poetry to commemorate the year…
I thought I’d seen much, but this year was intense
It broke open my shell and took out my defense
I’m grateful and joyful, but glad that it’s done
Shifting shapes like the moon while it burned like the sun
I loved and I lost and I broke, but I grew
What more could a girl on three continents do?
The year began strong on the Ecuador Coast
But no time had passed when my studio closed
I gave away all that I had to my name
And found that my life went on just the same
I detoxed the past and befriended new souls
And I marked off the list my India goals
My long-time best friends loved me so much I cried
They held my heart close while a part of me died
I had telling visions and followed a voice
I felt kundalini and saw a new choice
To keep my soul locked or to finally break free
And see there’s no fault with me just being me
I understand now, the source of my pain
The disconnection we feel even though we’re the same
I know now the value each human is worth
Inherent to us as a part of our birth
I love you.